Crazy girls are real

I am excited to feature this week an actual true life girl [not off of The Bachelor] who might make me as physically uncomfortable by their awkwardness that it leaves me wanting a glass of vino at 7:25 am. Here is an email exchange between a gentleman friend of mine and girl he went out casually with in the fall, who ran into each other while out for a mutual friend's birthday this past weekend.  Things were cordial, even decided to share breakfast together next morning [no not from shacking the night before] where she decided to invite him to her going away party.  Let me remind you that I said they dated casually, meaning when he realized he "just was not that into her" he promptly ended things.  This is a good thing people.

* Note all names, places, and proper nouns have been changed and my commentary is in purple

On Sun, Feb 13, 2011 at 10:42 PM, Crazy Girl <crazygirl123@gmail.com> wrote:

John Doe,

So I just spent the best day out in nature. Kristina and I hiked to the green narrows, which if you are ever trying to impress someone with your outdoor skills it is an awesome hike. We have this wonderful dynamic where I can talk to her about anything or we can walk in silence. The silence offered a great place to sort my thoughts today. ----> Now I do not know this girl personally, however this line just seems awkward and causes me to have visions of her sitting around holding hands and singing kum-ba-ya

I was confused first by your appearance on Friday and then by your sudden availability on Saturday. I was also confused by my reaction to you. To some extent I never had any closure form you and could feel the questions boiling up inside of me yesterday at breakfast. Instead I choose to value our time and think of it as a goodbye, leaving things on good terms. The 25th is about saying goodbye to the people I have met in Charlotte who mean something to me. At one point in time this would have included you but I am not entirely sure it does any more.While I commend her for this line, I cannot give her full credit because of the bigger picture of this short novel. I feel like I have nothing more to say to you. I really made peace with the fact that I was never going to see you again so your appearance on Friday and Saturday was confusing. I don't understand the motivation for your need to say goodbye. Three months have passed without any communication so why now? What place is this coming from? Didn't you already close that door in October with the line we would be civil if we saw each other out? Rhetorical questions

John Doe, later on this fall I began to develop more than just casual feelings for you which I realized the same weekend you came to the realization you didn't want me. I caught glimpses of this great person but I also saw one who was to some extent lost. I know where I am and what I want in life. I don't want to spend my last two weeks in Charlotte thinking about you and reopening those feelings. So unless you have had some huge epiphany with respect to me, which I would want you to talk to me about, then I am going to ask you to stay away. These last two weeks are about celebrating the relationships I have made and how they have continued to grow throughout my time here. And to be frank you don't fit into that category anymore.

I got lost for a brief moment in the way you can make me feel and for that I am sorry, but I am not that girl anymore. All the best in the game of life, I really hope you find exactly what it is you are searching for.

Crazy Girl

On Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 9:55 AM, John Doe <Johndoe@gmail.com wrote:
I understand.  Enjoy the next two weeks and safe travels.
John Doe

On Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 11:04 AM, Crazy Girl Crazygirl123@gmail.com wrote:
Thanks for understanding. I just don't see the point of being friends for two weeks when we both know once I leave we wont talk.

Now I will admit that maybe he should not have gone to breakfast with her, b/c girls can interpret things differently and well imagine things in their little heads like "He is so into me now" or "He saw me and realized what he was missing", etc. MOST of the time guys just dont think that. This girl probably thought such a thing and when he left her with nothing more than a friendly meal, she freaked out and then wrote her aforementioned novel.

Just when I thought this girl could not get any more desperate I was printed with a chain of emails from today. After reading this mild series of short stories, authored by Crazy Girl, I was left wanting a box of Franzia.  take a look.

On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 10:54 AM, Crazy Girl  Crazygirl123@gmail.com wrote:
I have dinner with the girls but drinks after?

SERIOUSLY WTF? a mere 48 hours ago she was inviting him to a party, and then 24 hours ago she was disinviting him to a party.

His Response:

On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 11:47 AM, John Doe <Johndoe@gmail.com> wrote:
Hey,
I have to work tonight.  No can do.
Sorry.

Ok so good job here- if this does not scream I am just not that into you I am not sure what does. It was short. It was sweet. It was to the point. There was no open ended questions left looming. There was no invitation to reply. No worries crazy girl did.

On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 12:30 PM, Crazy Girl <crazygirl123@gmail.com> wrote:
Can I book you for half an hour after, as you only work until 10ish? I am willing to meet you where ever is easiest for you. I understand you may be tired but you choose to enter back into my life two weeks before I leave, on the day you find out I am leaving no less. I have questions and I think you owe me the answers.

Once again WTF? "Can I book you for a half and hour?" Are you kidding me, you are screaming I am desperate.  "I am willing to meet you whereever" ay ay ya. I would like to address that this guy is really not a jack ass [if you might be thinking that]. I particularly like the part where she states he "chose to re-enter her life." I hate to break it to you sweetheart but I hardly call running into someone at a mutual friend's birthday party and a bar much less, re-entering your life.

His response.

On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 1:00 PM, John Doe <johndoe@gmail.com> wrote:

Crazy Girl , I am sorry, but there is no guarantee that i'll be off at 10, it may be closer to 11 or later and am frankly exhausted when I get off work. 
I did not mean to reenter your life right before you left but ran into you at a bar and was friendly.  It was good to see you and catch up with someone i was close with.  Burn no bridges I guess.  The next day, you asked me to breakfast and invited me to the going away party.  Breakfast was 3 blocks from my house and the party sounded fun.  Its probably best for everyone if we just avoid one another for the next two weeks as you previously mentioned.  Again, I wish you all the best in Vancouver and a happy and fun last two weeks in Charlotte.

Ok so maybe some might see this as harsh- but when is she going to see the light, wake up and smell the coffee, etc. Once again he was frank, to the point, and left no openendedness. It was direct [goodness knows this girl needs direction]. Wait for Wait for it. yep she responded. Ooooyyeee.

Date: Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 3:20 PM
Subject: Re: drinks tonight?
Crazy Girl <crazygirl123@gmail.com> wrote:
I don't know how to respond to that, John Doe, and I don't really want to explain myself via email either. I just wanted to talk this out with you and leave it as you say " with no bridges burned", as I wasn't the only one questioning your motivation and signals. I still think you are a cool dude and hope you look me up if you are ever on the west coast. If you want to stop by on the 25th you are more than welcome. There will be irish car bomb cupcakes if hanging out with a bunch of cool people isn't already motivation enough. If you don't I completely understand. I wish you all the best in the future and please say hi to Kevin for me, although he must think I am crazy with your version of this being relayed to him.

So after her invitation, uninvitation, there is invitation again. Well look there. Infact she even attempts to entice him with carbomb flavored cupcakes?? Is this for real. Once again any enticement to get a guy to hang out with you is yet another sign of despartion. A guy should not need to be enticed to want to hang out with you.  I have advised said genetleman friend to in shape or form reply to this chick. She clearly has well issues, but issues with having the last word. Sometimes girls its ok to let them just have the last word.

Let me also disclaim that I am not intending to put girls down, but I just could not help point out all of the physical discomfort that came in this email. Now that I have written more for this blog post and than I have for class today I better turn my focus back to things that matter. No worries I guess though, I can always use this for the self help book I write when this whole law school thing does not work out.

Family Values + Jersey Shore

If you are like me and well are American, than chances are you look forward to Thursdays. Personally, yes I look onward to the next day being Friday, local drink specials at certain watering holes, most of the time treating myself to chicken mcnugs or other unhealthy dinner, and most of all my own guilty pleasure of Jersey Shore. I stumbled across a website yesterday and I cant help but laugh. It is your Saturday day morning childhood + the Prophetic sayings of these highly educated individuals from the shore house. Meet Jersey Circus.  http://www.jerseycircus.blogspot.com/

I asked a certain guy, who will remain anonymous, if he remembered reading Family Cirus as kid  in the Saturday morning comics of the newspaper and he had no idea what I was talking about. If you are like this unnamed individual than here is some background material on the history of the comic. Wikipedia Article on Family Circus

Here are a few of my favorite's from this hilarious blog.

All images via http://jerseycircus.blogspot.com/

How do you like your Meat Breakdown?

So earlier this week, some disgruntled meat-lovers have decided to file a class action lawsuit against the bell of the Border over what exactly is going into their beloved burritos. Taco Bell is claiming they fill their shells with nothing less than seasoned beef, while stoners, drunk college kids, and former Biggest Loser contestants are claiming its nothing short of Taco Meat Filling.

First and Foremost, who cares?? You are eating at Taco Bell. It should be an implied condition that if you are going to subject yourself to sub-par grossness of 89 cents, than you should expect nothing less of whatever is left over on the cow. Maybe that is too blunt ladies and gents, but that is just what it is.

For a full explanation with extra pa-zazzz and entertainment, Check out the clip from The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart from last night with Comedian Lewis Black. CLICK HERE FOR THE MEAT

This week in Rejection ...

 Meet Jackie --- while Jackie never did anything too unnerving that would cause me to take my straw to my wine bottle, this shot of her really accentuates the size of her schnoze. Sorry to be cruel but I was tired of thinking about Toucan Sam everytime she hit the screen.

Meet Ally--- I was more than thrilled to see this loony toon hit the road. She was boring, mean, and I am sorry but bugs are not scary enough to throw away a whole glass of red wine. 

This week's award of Awkward Moment goes to Chantal O when she dropped the big fat L-Bomb on Brad. I am sorry but that is just crazy. I know the time table of mushy things like that is somewhat accelerated on this pure golden entertainment, however we still have a whole other week, then hometown dates, THEN some more single dates, then the finale. I am just saying I think it was  4 weeks premature.

Now only if we could get one of these for Crazy Michelle or as a matter of blonde justice, hold her crazy self in Contempt

Pay it Forward

For once someone is doing something that is selfless and compassionate. I started off this week a little grouchy, tired, sniffles, and overwhelmed with school work, and then I read this story [below] that reminded me things can always get worse. I think this week I will try to do something to pay it forward, and while it probably will not be in the form of a kidney, I think this story should inspire us all.

Wake Forest Coach Donates a Kidney to a Player
via News and Observer

Website you SHOULD be wasting your time on

While cruising the Internet today I stumbled across this little gem. Why couldn't I think of this? 
Please everyone take a moment and check out this still shots of these Rejected Bachelorettes. Here are a few of my favorites.

Images via http://facesofrejectedbachelorettes.tumblr.com/page/5

I cant wait to see what this website has in store next week, and for the week that Crazy Michelle finally gets kicked off. 

Wanted: Man with my iPhone

If you have not heard by now [which if you have not I am surprised since I am being a complete drama queen about it] but my cell phone was stolen at work on Monday. Yes stolen, not even 10 ft from the elected District Attorney of Durham County's office. Since this is an "on-going" investigation [yea right] and cannot reveal too much information on the "case" I will say I hope this P.O.S. [figure the abbreviation out on your own] is enjoying all my apps. I bet he isn't beating my high score in Snood or Scramble. I hope Cell Phone Stealer is enjoying my ESPN Scorecenter app and has been able to keep up with Gamecock Basketball. I hope you have enjoyed getting my Groupons every morning, and are enjoying by Multi-State Bar Exam Tips of the Day, or my Nike Women's Fitness work out app.

I bet this loser is also enjoying writing bad checks from the checkbook of another intern [yes also stolen] and the wad of cash from another intern's wallet.

Until then please see the video below for what I'd like to think of as hopefully JUSTICE for the durham cell phone stealer

Thanks to Lauren Miller and Kevin Davis for reminding me about this video