B E A GG R E SS I V E

Be aggressive, be be aggressive. Any one else remember this cheer from your days as a high school student at a basketball game??

In all seriousness, I have slowly started to become annoyed with how people use Facebook. Yes some people post awkward ultra-sound pictures of the babies they are expecting [which is just gross], other people use it to tell the entire Facebook world how great they think they are by "how great their life is" or " I just ate at (insert the most expensive restaurant in your town here)", while others use it for ignorant political soap boxes, and others use it for my MOST hated pet peeve. Passive Aggressive Confrontation.

I CANNOT stand real life passive aggressive confrontation, but much less Facebook passive aggressiveness. If you are upset with something or someone, than be an adult and tell them, instead of hiding behind the screen of your computer like an idiot.  If you have the courage to blast something to your facebook friends [who 2/3rds probably do not really like you anyways] then have the same courage to be an adult. Otherwise the person who is the target of such passive aggressiveness comes out - Duh. Winning.

Is the blog post passive aggressive confrontation? Perhaps, but its my blog I just really do not care.

reader discretion is advised

Today's Blog Post is sponsored by the word Frenemy: (fren-namy): the combination of someone who is your friend and enemy simultaneously.

Thanks to one of my now 5 blog readers, I came across the most genius blog, that in the event law school does not work out and I actually pursue my real life dating advice book, she would provide me with great material. Please everyone check out The Frenemy.

She is not my frenemy, rather my new best blog friend. I believe that this girl says anything and everything that I would EVER want to say, but just don't have the guts or courage to do so. Her posts range from telling girls why acting like a drunk moron is stupid, telling girls that a 2am Text means nothing more than a late night hook up, to [my personal favorite] why leggings should NOT be worn as pants!

However, as the title indicates, reader discretion is advised, as she is no holds bar.

Scary Women

With the Bachelor ending next week and other fictional shows starting to wind down for the season I decided I needed to take up some new tv. Two Tuesdays ago I incorporated The Real Housewives of Miami into my weekly boob-tube rotation. My all time favorite RH show was RHOOC, the originals duhh, before Tamera went bat sh!t crazy and Vicki kept throwing a "WAHOOO" into everything. I wish these ladies would step up their drama, just a little, but their passive aggressive cattiness is still entertaining.

So why the title "Scary Women." Well of course any RH series is going to come full throttle with botched plastic surgeries and botox treatments. There are some rather terrible interesting looking women on this show. See below.

Yikes.

Goo.

Goo's Mom.



At what point does one say enough is enough? Anywho --- if you want to laugh at these people's "real" lives check them out on Tuesday nights @ 10pm on Bravo.



Re-cap in Rejection

Poor Poor Ashley. I actually do not have anything too terrible to say about her. I think she has come a long way from her creeping up on Brad and other girls [multiple times might I add]. Now I do not mean to be a spoiler of good fun and surprise, but the man, the myth, the legend him self Reality Steve [check him out HERE, ** but be warned, he spoils the finale] has reported that Ashley will now be the next Bachelorette. I have mixed thoughts on this, but then again I do think there were some creepy, borderline scary girls this season, so of the few decent ones to choose from, they did ok.

I was highly disappointed in the "Women Tell All" last night. I just think that girls arguing about petty crap is uncomfortable. I think Jackie aka Toucan Sam took the prize of the MOST annoying last night. [Get a new a hairstyle]. I did enjoy a rather nice bottle of Sauvigion Blanc last night with Deb as we watched the majority of these ladies act cra cra. I cannot remember which bachelorette said it, but all their bitching and moaning at Michelle was obviously just because they were jealous of her. Is Michelle crazy? Probably so. Is she hot? duh yes. Were her comments entertaining on Monday nights? Of course.  Are the attitudes towards her from the other women jealousy? Clearly. As much as I thought she was crazy throughout this season, I am glad she came out in the end last night WINNING.

They say love dont come easy

You avid Bachelor fans should understand the title. All other readers, you are not missing anything.

Moving on. The past two weeks in Rejection have been filled with heartaches and tears of joy. I think I speak for America when I say that I was beyond excited to see "I am bat s@#t crazy" Michelle hit the road. I would not be surprised to see a Dateline or Lifetime Movie on her murdering a past lover in a frantic rage. Maybe I can make a drinking game out of that too.

Yikes!

This past Monday, I was somewhat sad to see Brad say good riddins to Shawntal. I really have nothing too negative to say about her, other than --- Do you REALLY think a dude wants to be paraded through a funeral home. yikes. I wonder if she constantly smells of embalming [stuff]? 

Crazy girls are real

I am excited to feature this week an actual true life girl [not off of The Bachelor] who might make me as physically uncomfortable by their awkwardness that it leaves me wanting a glass of vino at 7:25 am. Here is an email exchange between a gentleman friend of mine and girl he went out casually with in the fall, who ran into each other while out for a mutual friend's birthday this past weekend.  Things were cordial, even decided to share breakfast together next morning [no not from shacking the night before] where she decided to invite him to her going away party.  Let me remind you that I said they dated casually, meaning when he realized he "just was not that into her" he promptly ended things.  This is a good thing people.

* Note all names, places, and proper nouns have been changed and my commentary is in purple

On Sun, Feb 13, 2011 at 10:42 PM, Crazy Girl <crazygirl123@gmail.com> wrote:

John Doe,

So I just spent the best day out in nature. Kristina and I hiked to the green narrows, which if you are ever trying to impress someone with your outdoor skills it is an awesome hike. We have this wonderful dynamic where I can talk to her about anything or we can walk in silence. The silence offered a great place to sort my thoughts today. ----> Now I do not know this girl personally, however this line just seems awkward and causes me to have visions of her sitting around holding hands and singing kum-ba-ya

I was confused first by your appearance on Friday and then by your sudden availability on Saturday. I was also confused by my reaction to you. To some extent I never had any closure form you and could feel the questions boiling up inside of me yesterday at breakfast. Instead I choose to value our time and think of it as a goodbye, leaving things on good terms. The 25th is about saying goodbye to the people I have met in Charlotte who mean something to me. At one point in time this would have included you but I am not entirely sure it does any more.While I commend her for this line, I cannot give her full credit because of the bigger picture of this short novel. I feel like I have nothing more to say to you. I really made peace with the fact that I was never going to see you again so your appearance on Friday and Saturday was confusing. I don't understand the motivation for your need to say goodbye. Three months have passed without any communication so why now? What place is this coming from? Didn't you already close that door in October with the line we would be civil if we saw each other out? Rhetorical questions

John Doe, later on this fall I began to develop more than just casual feelings for you which I realized the same weekend you came to the realization you didn't want me. I caught glimpses of this great person but I also saw one who was to some extent lost. I know where I am and what I want in life. I don't want to spend my last two weeks in Charlotte thinking about you and reopening those feelings. So unless you have had some huge epiphany with respect to me, which I would want you to talk to me about, then I am going to ask you to stay away. These last two weeks are about celebrating the relationships I have made and how they have continued to grow throughout my time here. And to be frank you don't fit into that category anymore.

I got lost for a brief moment in the way you can make me feel and for that I am sorry, but I am not that girl anymore. All the best in the game of life, I really hope you find exactly what it is you are searching for.

Crazy Girl

On Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 9:55 AM, John Doe <Johndoe@gmail.com wrote:
I understand.  Enjoy the next two weeks and safe travels.
John Doe

On Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 11:04 AM, Crazy Girl Crazygirl123@gmail.com wrote:
Thanks for understanding. I just don't see the point of being friends for two weeks when we both know once I leave we wont talk.

Now I will admit that maybe he should not have gone to breakfast with her, b/c girls can interpret things differently and well imagine things in their little heads like "He is so into me now" or "He saw me and realized what he was missing", etc. MOST of the time guys just dont think that. This girl probably thought such a thing and when he left her with nothing more than a friendly meal, she freaked out and then wrote her aforementioned novel.

Just when I thought this girl could not get any more desperate I was printed with a chain of emails from today. After reading this mild series of short stories, authored by Crazy Girl, I was left wanting a box of Franzia.  take a look.

On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 10:54 AM, Crazy Girl  Crazygirl123@gmail.com wrote:
I have dinner with the girls but drinks after?

SERIOUSLY WTF? a mere 48 hours ago she was inviting him to a party, and then 24 hours ago she was disinviting him to a party.

His Response:

On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 11:47 AM, John Doe <Johndoe@gmail.com> wrote:
Hey,
I have to work tonight.  No can do.
Sorry.

Ok so good job here- if this does not scream I am just not that into you I am not sure what does. It was short. It was sweet. It was to the point. There was no open ended questions left looming. There was no invitation to reply. No worries crazy girl did.

On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 12:30 PM, Crazy Girl <crazygirl123@gmail.com> wrote:
Can I book you for half an hour after, as you only work until 10ish? I am willing to meet you where ever is easiest for you. I understand you may be tired but you choose to enter back into my life two weeks before I leave, on the day you find out I am leaving no less. I have questions and I think you owe me the answers.

Once again WTF? "Can I book you for a half and hour?" Are you kidding me, you are screaming I am desperate.  "I am willing to meet you whereever" ay ay ya. I would like to address that this guy is really not a jack ass [if you might be thinking that]. I particularly like the part where she states he "chose to re-enter her life." I hate to break it to you sweetheart but I hardly call running into someone at a mutual friend's birthday party and a bar much less, re-entering your life.

His response.

On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 1:00 PM, John Doe <johndoe@gmail.com> wrote:

Crazy Girl , I am sorry, but there is no guarantee that i'll be off at 10, it may be closer to 11 or later and am frankly exhausted when I get off work. 
I did not mean to reenter your life right before you left but ran into you at a bar and was friendly.  It was good to see you and catch up with someone i was close with.  Burn no bridges I guess.  The next day, you asked me to breakfast and invited me to the going away party.  Breakfast was 3 blocks from my house and the party sounded fun.  Its probably best for everyone if we just avoid one another for the next two weeks as you previously mentioned.  Again, I wish you all the best in Vancouver and a happy and fun last two weeks in Charlotte.

Ok so maybe some might see this as harsh- but when is she going to see the light, wake up and smell the coffee, etc. Once again he was frank, to the point, and left no openendedness. It was direct [goodness knows this girl needs direction]. Wait for Wait for it. yep she responded. Ooooyyeee.

Date: Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 3:20 PM
Subject: Re: drinks tonight?
Crazy Girl <crazygirl123@gmail.com> wrote:
I don't know how to respond to that, John Doe, and I don't really want to explain myself via email either. I just wanted to talk this out with you and leave it as you say " with no bridges burned", as I wasn't the only one questioning your motivation and signals. I still think you are a cool dude and hope you look me up if you are ever on the west coast. If you want to stop by on the 25th you are more than welcome. There will be irish car bomb cupcakes if hanging out with a bunch of cool people isn't already motivation enough. If you don't I completely understand. I wish you all the best in the future and please say hi to Kevin for me, although he must think I am crazy with your version of this being relayed to him.

So after her invitation, uninvitation, there is invitation again. Well look there. Infact she even attempts to entice him with carbomb flavored cupcakes?? Is this for real. Once again any enticement to get a guy to hang out with you is yet another sign of despartion. A guy should not need to be enticed to want to hang out with you.  I have advised said genetleman friend to in shape or form reply to this chick. She clearly has well issues, but issues with having the last word. Sometimes girls its ok to let them just have the last word.

Let me also disclaim that I am not intending to put girls down, but I just could not help point out all of the physical discomfort that came in this email. Now that I have written more for this blog post and than I have for class today I better turn my focus back to things that matter. No worries I guess though, I can always use this for the self help book I write when this whole law school thing does not work out.

This week in Rejection ...

 Meet Jackie --- while Jackie never did anything too unnerving that would cause me to take my straw to my wine bottle, this shot of her really accentuates the size of her schnoze. Sorry to be cruel but I was tired of thinking about Toucan Sam everytime she hit the screen.

Meet Ally--- I was more than thrilled to see this loony toon hit the road. She was boring, mean, and I am sorry but bugs are not scary enough to throw away a whole glass of red wine. 

This week's award of Awkward Moment goes to Chantal O when she dropped the big fat L-Bomb on Brad. I am sorry but that is just crazy. I know the time table of mushy things like that is somewhat accelerated on this pure golden entertainment, however we still have a whole other week, then hometown dates, THEN some more single dates, then the finale. I am just saying I think it was  4 weeks premature.

Now only if we could get one of these for Crazy Michelle or as a matter of blonde justice, hold her crazy self in Contempt

Website you SHOULD be wasting your time on

While cruising the Internet today I stumbled across this little gem. Why couldn't I think of this? 
Please everyone take a moment and check out this still shots of these Rejected Bachelorettes. Here are a few of my favorites.

Images via http://facesofrejectedbachelorettes.tumblr.com/page/5

I cant wait to see what this website has in store next week, and for the week that Crazy Michelle finally gets kicked off. 

I knew I had a feeling [Bevs & Blankies week 4]

Everyone remember my favorite imacrazybachelorette MVP?

Well after cruising my favorite website this morning I found this little article that confirmed my "girls acting stupid" meter going off the charts every time this girl gets a shot of the camera on monday nights.  I was so hoping [I think along with the rest of the USA] that she was going to get canned this episode, as well as that her mysterious black eye was the result of some praise worthy bachelorette. unfortunately not. 

My bachelorette viewing party was limited this week to my couch and myself and a glass of milk. However had I been drinking my normal Bachelor drink of choice, I once again would have had a tremendous buzz from playing the "Crazy Michelle" drinking game.  However after all the milk I drank, I sure slept like a little baby.

I am glad to see she turned out to be a cleat chaser and America knows her real level of class.  As a matter of blonde justice I wonder if Utah is a state that recognizes alienation of affections or criminal conversation so Carlos Boozer's ex wife can get some $$. Probably not seeing as polygamy seems to be ok.  

Rabid teenagers

Has anyone else stumbled across this show on MTV?

This show seems like it is just a hair shy of pornography--- and it is coming on cable television.

In all fairness I have only been able to stomach about 37 minutes of the first episode because of the physical discomfort of watching these underage kids engage in drugs sex and rock and roll.  The way these kids were acting were way worse than any rabid college student on a  Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night in Fosters looking for their next take down before closing time. I just think I would like to ask MTV producers what they were hoping to accomplish with this television show? New contestents on Teen Mom, 16 & Pregnant, True Life I am 16 and have herpes?

Additionally I am sure all of you have at some point watched Teen Mom and or 16 & Pregnant.   I realize I can be a cynic. However once again I would like to ask MTV what they were hoping to accomplish by producing this show. I know you are saying likely, well to show that you can be a teen and a mom. My point exactly, MTV is basically saying, please don't use a contraceptive, get knocked up and then you will get a TV show. I am in no way preaching abstinence, just common sense.



Bevs and Blankies Week 3

This week on the Bachelor did not fail in providing yet again, uncomfortable entertainment. This week's MVP of crazy/annoying/girl acting stupid is Michelle.

Meet Hairdresser Michelle

From the on-set this chick is pretty hot. She is tan, she is exotic looking, and has a banging bod. She has great locks too. But readers beware, this girl is just short of a femme fatale. Her inappropriate comments I can appreciate, however she took inappropriate to a new level. If I had time in between jobs and studying I would probably re-watch this episode and tally the amount of times she said something borderline psycho.

Because I enjoy an adult beverage during this genius entertainment I started playing a drinking game. Every time she said "he is MY man!" Sip. Every time she said something derogatory about the other girls. Sip. Every time she said anything remotely psycho. Sip. By the end of this show I had a good buzz, and the entertainment got better and better.

On a non-psycho related note - Sweet Sweet Emily.

A bachelorette said it best. You want to hate her because she is so beautiful but you cant because she is so nice. I really commend her for waiting to tell Brad about her past and her daughter. He said it best when he referred to her as classy. As far as I can tell, this girl is the epitome of classy when it comes to this show. For once, a girl not acting stupid.

Until next week, where I plan to continue sipping a bottle of wine everytime crazy Michelle refers to Brad as HER man. However according to the previews I might need 2 bottles since Michelle appears in the previews with a shiny black eye.



This woman clearly gets what is going on

I stumbled across this article on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ and I cannot thank Emily Bracken enough for writing this article. Now I don't agree with everything she said but she makes notable points.

10 Signs She'll Be a High Maintenance Girlfriend

I personally could not agree more with #2 and #10.

Bevs and Blankies Week 2

As expected, this week's Bachelor provided nothing less than golden entertainment. Before I go into the stoops of certain girls this week, I need to comment on the Man of the Hour first. I could not help sip my adult beverage this week to some of the extremely unintelligent comments made.

Example.

Image via www.wetpaint.com

While on the creepiest date in this show's history (it was private fair setup with clowns and carnies) Brad proceeded to tell America  " I like this girl.... I like this girl alot."  It reminded me of something this guy would say.

Moving on.

So this week was filled of these two girls just acting stupid.

 This girl, who looks like a recovering Meth addict

And Manscapper, big guns girl.

The entire episode was filled with melo-dramatic scenes from Meth addict and Guns McGee fighting it out. I would tell you what they were fighting about, but to be honest I am not sure America ever figured that out. I had to pull a bev and blankie when Meth addict proceeded to cry it out in front of former Bachelorette Aly. This is just awkward. Complete strangers DO NOT WANT to hear about your dramatic life. And if that is not enough, when will girls figure out that dudes do not like dramatic girls. Luckily Brad redeemed his intelligence and said good ridden to these losers.

If it hadn't of been for the icy roads, I probably would have gotten a little tipsy in this episode due to the numerous amounts of awkwardness and stupidity exhibited by these two girls. 

This woman is genius

She is honest, she speaks her mind, she cusses like a sailor, and she is an absolute genius. Patti Stanger.I.love.you.

I'd like to preface this post with, I am not trying to hate on girls and girls dating. I have always wanted to write a quasi self help book for girls who just act stupid and wonder why they are single. Until then Ill share my thoughts and concerns here.

So if you dont watch Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo, you are missing out on once again pure entertainment. If you are wondering how these folks make it on this show, check out this link.

So last nights episode, featured this girl. Robin. Oh Robin.

                                                            Image via www.bravotv.com

Robin's interests included: Hello Kitty, the color pink, spending time with her dogs Bruiser and Paris Hilton, and sipping pink champagne through a straw. Now girl, I feel ya, I love sipping cocktails through a straw too, but its usually a blueberry vodka and cranberry. Additionally, I see that you enjoy make up, as do I. However it looks like a box of Crayola's exploded on your face. Robin proceeded to pick the unintelligent dude with big muscles, and asked to do something too sexually explicit for this blog, on her date. The date also included sweet Robin offering to buy "Muscles" very expensive cars and perhaps a motorcycle. Clearly he went out with you for your brains, hobbies, and exquisite make-up.

This behavior just annoys me. Sweetheart, I hate to break it to you, but you just paid 50 grand to sip pink champagne out of a straw and have some guy make fun of you on TV. There are so much more productive things to do with 50 grand.

If anyone else is bored at work and needs a pick me up check this episode out in a few days online. 

Grab a blanket and an adult beverage

SOO this guy.  I personally think he is sort of, well a douche.  In the past I have loved and yet hated this show. But as I have grown older, and wiser might I add, I have found this show to be pure entertainment. Not because I think this show actually finds true love for people, but for the utter cheesiness of watching girls (and dudes) do things in sheer desperation.

So you are asking what does the title of this post have to do with the Bachelor.

If you are like me and get physically uncomfortable when people act awkward than you need a blanket to cover your eyes.

Example.

This chick, who has occupation listed as "Manscapper," waxes part of his arm. Now regardless if you ladies reading like your man hairy (I personally do) or with no hair at all, this is just awkward, and calls for a sip of your adult beverage (this evening mine was red wine) and the blanket over your face because you just cannot physically watch this. 

I would also like to draw attention to her bicep. She could probably take him in an arm wrestling match.

Other situations that cause for eye covering and sipping of your beverage are as follows:
(1) singing ANY song, especially ones made up about the Bachelor, gag
(2) slaps in the face right out of the limo, just awkward and trashy
(3) talking about your biological clock. Just TMI people

Until Next Monday when I can make more realistic observations.